There, on my desk at work, amidst mementos from years of leading Cru’s performing artists team, is one of the scariest things a creative person can face.
Do you see it?
It’s a blank page.
“Breaking the power of the blank page”, as artists of various sorts will tell you, is a significant hurdle to overcome in the process of creating, well, anything. It’s SO much easier to paint-by-numbers, to fill-in-the-blanks, to let someone else decide what needs to be created – and then jump in and help them round it out.
In my case, that blank page is the next season of my ministry with Cru.
And it’s terrifying.
This last summer, as I and my peers in leadership envisioned the next season of ministry for Cru’s performing artists team, it became apparent that the greatest contribution I could make was to take all that I’ve learned and experienced in the last decade of ministry and put that into creating a completely new performing team – one that operates differently than our previous teams, and is free to engage the professional music community differently than we ever have before. So after 6 years of directing Cru’s entire team of missional artists, I’m working to launch and lead a new one – but in a way that is completely new and untested in my tenure.
It doesn’t seem like it should be all that worrisome – after all, I came to Cru’s music ministry in the first place to perform; to get in front of people and use music and story to connect with their hearts and tell them about the radical, life-changing love of Jesus. If launching a new team in a new way is the path forward, I want to be at the front of it, even if it is something of a blank page for us.
I’ll still contribute to our other projects (outreach, training, leading worship), but I’ll be focusing on working with musicians, songwriters and producers from Cru and in the professional music community to form a new band, write and record songs, and get back out onto the front lines of ministry.
It’s scary – not because it’s not my calling, but because there’s a very real possibility that it could fail strategically. But, staying in my previous role would have also been a failure – a failure of trust. Sometimes, fear is the most clarifying thing you can experience, because it tells you exactly where you need the most faith to proceed.
And proceed we will, fear and all. Because while it’s scary, it’s also rife with potential for some amazing relationships, art, and ministry – and that’s what I started this whole journey to do.
Thanks for being part of the network of folks that is sacrificing and praying for us – we’ll need that now more than ever!
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